Honesty

I feel that with this new blog, that it's time to just be honest. A lot of the time now, because of what I am going thru, i tend to bend the truth. No not in a bad way i suppose. More along the lines of when someone asks me how I am doing, there is always a short pause before I say "i'm fine, i'm okay, great, wonderful" and whatever else I can think to come up with quickly. Okay so honestly, in that short pause, there is so much that goes thru my mind that I wish i could say, no scream! I want to let you know how hard it is for me to dodge this question and not tell you exactly how I am feeling, how hard it was for me to get out of bed today, knowing that there is a 100% chance that I will run into someone who is pregnant or something that has to do with babies, that more than likely I am going to see a mom who is doing something horrible to a child and think how unfit they are, how unfair it is that I did everything right and those who do whatever they want are the people who are having babies left and right, that it breaks my heart to hear someone say  that they thought about giving up their baby because they weren't ready!!! and mostly that I am not writing this blog for sympathy, but for a clear understanding from everyone. I just want people to be able to understand where I am coming from and why sometimes I am not going to be able to make it to a baby shower, or even comment on your babies birth photos right away, trust me it really has nothing to do with you!! Or even why I didn't want to go to Disney World this year with my family having to watch ladies with a million kids parade them around all the parks having a cute contest. So in conclusion, this is the honest truth!